Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
