Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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