At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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