4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize