Sry I called you an 8
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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