I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
