i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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