WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
two words...techno handjob
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I party with great urgency now.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
