But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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