Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
how does that bad decision feel?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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