I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
