How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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