Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
