Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
