Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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