Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
