So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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