dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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