haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
