you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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