do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
