All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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