Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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