This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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