I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
