yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
