would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
