you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We have so much sex to catch up on
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
