Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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