he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
