i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize