me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
