I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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