Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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