We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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