S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
