i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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