sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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