we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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