No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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