garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just fell off a train. Bad.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
