what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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