I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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