Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize