YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
