just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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