Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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