Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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