she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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