Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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