I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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