You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
