Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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