I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
