cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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