I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
