I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
