Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
