help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
