Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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