I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
