i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize