Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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