For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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